The Lake

Some rough memories dredged up by this.

Yes, I am a Lake survivor, too.

‘The following has been written (and copy righted) by Annie Helm, a Lake Alice survivor, a MH advocate and activist and a friend. Creative expression is one way survivors of psychiatric harm share their stories and is an important part of our recovery kaupapa. This is shared with permission.

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Written upon hearing of the death of Dr Selwyn Leeks

Dr Selwyn Leeks !!

You have finally given up this life!

never having found the courage

to face the victims of your farce

of experimental psychiatry.

The howls of pain

still haunt the land

of the infamous

adolescent unit.

The rape of innocence

condoned on the contained,

with wiring of electrodes

that shocked the genitalia

of the young

into submission.

Alongside tortuous inescapable

sodomy and rape

and the trading

of sexual favours

of the units hierarchies

for smokes.

Worst yet was the threat

of being taken to the block

The hideous block!

down in the gully,

where murderers

and the criminally insane

were kept behind

the high wire fence.

Really really bad children

were fed into the block

to fend for themselves

amidst insanity.

Come on …

Did this REALLY HAPPEN ?

YES IT DID.

I know I was in

Lake Alice

Just after the unit

was closed down

and Pugmire

was the Medical Superintendent.

Children from the unit

were in Villa 6

or

Villa “Sex”

as the unit manager

called it.

The place

where I went through

a crucible of a rebirth

burnt in

isolation and cruelty

to glean some understanding

of brutality and indifference

and experience occasional

little drops of mercy.

The fire in my belly

was born there

and remains

to this day.

The seclusion cell

a holy place

of touching sacred fire.

Now after all these years

with the Gallen report (2001)

The Confidential Forum (2007)

The Listening and Assistance Forum (2015)

And now the Royal Commission

Into Abuse in State Care

And finally the honest admittance

of bungled processes

all along the way

The biggest bastard

designer of LAs

atrocities

Is dead.

I find it hard to say

as Rumi has

“Out beyond ideas of

wrongdoing

and rightdoing,

there is a field.

I’ll meet you there. “

The Royal Australian and New Zealand

College of Psychiatrists

(RANZCP)

gave Leeks a job

when he moved to Australia

and successfully hid him away

from litigious processes.

This is a day of great Shame

upon that college.

I have written about the complexity

of apology discourse

Apology without restitution

are easy words from a politician’s lips.

The Crown has been masterly

in avoiding meaningful

compensation in the past.

I have a friend who says

“No one wants to remember

the holocaust.”

Lake Alice deserves

its own designed place

where a national monument

could be designed

and offer a place of

tranquillity and reflection

for both the staff effected

and the inmates subjected

to much barbarism

could say

This! This! Happened

in Aotearoa !!

and we dedicate this place

to those in unmarked graves

and the children and others whose lives

were irrevocably damaged,

and pledge

that it will

always be part of

our collective consciousness.

So today the 26th of January 2022

Dr Selwyn Leeks is dead.

A fickle irony that his own brain

was too neurological fucked

with dementia to stand trial.

He certainly wasn’t at the time

of the bungled Gallen Inquiry.

Now that he’s dead

will the ledger be squared?

Hundreds of eyes look

upon his soul.

“Will mercy season

justice ?”

Guilty as Charged !

We will not hear

in any court of Law

in the land.

Then again

The Real Reckoning

is not ours to know.

©Anne Helm 26/01/2022.

‘Written with much respect to all my fellow survivors of Lake Alice, those who did not make old bones at all, those who committed suicide, and others who have similar stories who wear the survivor scars like tattoos upon their skin, and intergenerationally have struggled with their demons for years. And for all survivors of institutional abuse in, out of sight out of mind psychopaedic hospitals and mental institutions throughout our land. Persist with courage, and with kindness.

Persist, Persist Persist for in doing so we have triumphed!’

Thank you, Annie.

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