Omoiyari ~ take time to really care about others

Omoiyari

(Take time to really care about others)

 A meditation from Karate: Technique and Spirit by Kaicho Tadashi Nakamura.

 

I want to concentrate on the word omoiyari which means thoughtfulness, sincere thoughtfulness.

It means caring: caring for your family, your friends, your fellow workers, your neighbours, your country.

Omoiyari is part of good discipline. So many people have the attitude ‘look, I don’t have time to really care about myself, so how am I supposed to be able to care for everybody else?’ This is a very bad attitude. What if everybody took this attitude! Can you imagine what life would be like?

The first place to start bringing thoughtfulness and care into your way of being is at home, with your family. This is most important.

It is not enough, however, to simply be thoughtful and caring if it is not sincerely motivated.

Omoiyari means sincere caring. When we are sincere in showing care for others, we expect nothing in return. We are not fishing for compliments, not searching for gratitude or reciprocity. Suppose that we do something kind for someone and that person ignores it completely, takes it completely for granted. ‘How dare he (or she) do that? At least he (or she) could have thanked me!’

If we have this reaction, then we don’t have omoiyari. If we do things for others with the expectation of gratitude, praise or awards, then we are not really doing it for others, we are doing it for ourselves, to build up our egos.

When you do zazen, you hear it said ‘Expect nothing. Just sit.’ Don’t expect your life to be transformed, and don’t expect to reach anywhere or anything. The same idea underlies omoiyari. True giving and caring of others, sincere thoughtfulness ~ these things are their own rewards.

You should try to develop omoiyari at the dojo. I want Seido students to train as a family. Some students come to the dojo to train in isolation, not caring to help or share their knowledge or experience with fellow students. They think ‘I am here to train. This is my time. I can’t be bothered about anyone else.’ This is a very bad attitude. Train hard, sure. However you will discover that taking an interest in others and showing omoiyari will enrich your own training and make it more meaningful.

 A meditation from Karate: Technique and Spirit by Kaicho Tadashi Nakamura.